Homesickness is an underestimated and common feeling among college students, particularly those leaving home for the first time ever. This feeling is compounded for international or out-of-state students who cannot return home as often as they might like. Many Life University (Life U) students fit this bill. The feelings of sadness, loneliness and longing can be strong and overwhelming but usually abate after the first few months or the first quarter here at Life U. Still, it is important to develop coping mechanisms to deal with homesickness whenever it might strike.

First off, to deal with homesickness, you must first identify it. It might manifest in poor sleep, not wanting to eat, depression, anxiety, sadness or feelings of isolation. Thoughts of home may be constant, not seeming to allow room for any positive feelings toward your new environment. Focus might also be altered, and you may even experience stomach pain or headaches. If there are additional stressors in the mix, that might make homesickness more likely or more acute. An extroverted personality more open to new experiences may adapt more quickly than an introverted one, but there are steps that anyone can take to reduce homesickness.

Homesickness Tips

  • Have you ever watched the popular “Inside Out” Disney movie series? It’s a silly but profound reflection of the essential work that all healthy individuals must do to acknowledge and accept all our emotions, both positive and negative. It doesn’t yet feature a Homesick character, but if it did, it might show a sheepish character clinging to a comfort object that represents something familiar and hanging out with Sadness a good bit. And that is totally OK and valid. Accepting that you are feeling homesick is the first step to healing that emotion.
  • Remember that there isn’t an official guidebook for the right or wrong way to feel about this transitionary period in your life. Change is inherently difficult, even when it is a positive change. Don’t put additional pressure on yourself when you are feeling homesick by trying to quickly force past it. The feeling should naturally lessen on its own as you begin to get used to your new surroundings and community. What you are feeling is normal and valid.
  • Keep connected with family and friends at home through phone calls and video chats, but also make a concentrated effort to build new friendships and meaningful relationships.
  • Whatever it is that you miss from home, see what you can do to replicate some of those pastimes in the here and now. Share a favorite food or join a club with like-minded people.
  • Healthful diet and exercise are always important, but especially so during times of distress. Make sure to get out of the dorm, enjoy some fresh air and establish a consistent workout routine.
  • Don’t bottle up your feelings. You will probably find others who can relate with what you are feeling, and that should provide some comfort. Overall, avoid over-isolating. Make sure to attend campus events at least some of the time and go to class. You may not always feel like it in the moment, but it should help lift your mood the more you interact with others in a positive way.

Parents helping a homesick college student

For parents with kids headed off to college for the first time, it is natural to worry about them and how they will adjust. Sometimes a bit of tough love may be needed to create a balance, to support a student rather than enabling their homesickness. The important thing to do is not to panic when they call or text you and are upset about how things are going. Provide encouragement, listen and try to steer them toward looking for activities they enjoy, so they can engage where they are.

The instinct can be to rush to the rescue or tell them they can come home right away. That approach likely will not serve them in the long-term. Instead, students may need their parents to help suggest some social goals, such as making dinner plans with a new friend, to give them some accountability to make college work. Set plans for appropriate visits home in the near future so that they have that to look forward to but encourage them to get out there in the meantime.

Try not to be overly available for contact. A student needs to shed some of those knee-jerk coping mechanisms in order to stand on their own two feet. Lastly, when dealing with a homesick student, don’t pile on with your own feelings of missing them. Telling them you missed watching lasting week’s football game with them on TV or walking the dog together is only going to worsen the problem. A mailed care package from home can lift their spirits, so this is an active step you can take from afar. Remind yourself and your student that this feeling of homesickness is temporary and that college is full of learning experiences such as this that will help them reach their full potential.

Sources

https://rutgershealth.org/news/feeling-homesick-how-manage-it-college

https://collegiateparent.com/student-life/helping-with-homesickness/